Jealousy: A Poem

Poetry, Publications on Coffee House Writers, Writing
https://pixabay.com/en/woman-face-wall-view-eyes-228178/

Photo by Geralt via Pixabay

I stand there, watching you walk with her.

You hold her cheek in your hand,

Kiss her lips

Tenderly

As if she’s breakable and

Precious.

 

My heart drops.

Hot anger flows through my veins.

I see red.

 

My fists clench and I shake with

Rejection,

Broken dreams,

And lost hope.

My stomach is full of rocks.

My chest is empty and tight.

 

How am I supposed to deal with what I feel?

 

I want to be her.

Have you look at me like

[Read More]

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A Revision of My Relationship with My Mother

Publications on Coffee House Writers, Writing
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Photo by Daria Shevtsova

You may have read my articles “Why You Won’t Get A Mother’s Day Card: An Open Letter To My Mom” and “How 10 Months With My Grandma Taught Me More Than 20 Years With My Parents.” I want to revise the statements made in these articles.

Both of them were written in anger after a harrowing argument with my mom. I harbored a lot of resentment and anger toward her, and I wrote those articles as a response. It was wrong of me to make those public, and for this I apologize. I’m talking to you, Mom.

I have a habit of thinking in extremes, black and whites, and vilifying or making heroes out of people. I was further encouraged in this way of thinking by my grandma, who has the same habits, especially in regard to how she thinks about others.

I want to give reasons I was in the wrong during those arguments. I also want to explain why my mom is awesome.

One of the main ways I was wrong is for publishing something written in the heat of the moment. It was also wrong of me to vilify her. I simply had expectations of her she couldn’t fill. We’re still struggling to figure out how to navigate the stages between the parent-child and the parent-adult relationships, as most mothers and daughters do around my age. I still have an idealistic view of the world and what my parents can and cannot do. I’m learning to see them as human and accept their limitations without faulting them for it.

And now, for ways my mom is awesome: [Read More]