The Heroine of My Life: A Therapy Exercise for Battling Negative Self-Talk

General Musings, Life, Mental Illness, Publications on Coffee House Writers, Writing
Success is being the hero of your life

Photo by Free-Photos via Pixabay

This is my latest on Coffee House Writers. I had the inspiration to write this from a friend who mentioned that her therapist had told her about this exercise. I was immediately taken with the idea and wanted to see if it could help me. This is what I came up with since I didn’t want to make an autobiography out of it. You can read the full article here. I hope you enjoy!

The Heroine of My Life:

** Trigger Warning** Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts and Bullying

Someone suggested as a therapy exercise to write my story. However, there was a simple requirement. I had to make myself the strong heroine with a happy ending instead of playing the victim. It’s an exercise to battle negative self-image and self-talk.

Here’s my story:

As a young child, I already had a stubborn personality. I liked to call it determination. My mother and I often butted heads because of this personality trait. It was something she called a battle of wills.

Traits of kindness, loyalty and caring for others appeared. I had a strong sense of justice and always helped others. I love helping my friends figure out their problems.

I was a take-charge kind of person. If I had an idea, I was passionate about; it would consume me to the point of obsession. I would work on the project until I couldn’t work on it anymore. I would stop after exhausting the possibilities or resistance from others.

But, as is always the case with young, strong-willed creatives, it put me through trial after trial of resistance.

I was creative; I was always writing fiction and reading whatever I could get my hands on. When eating, I read cereal boxes or labels on food containers to keep my mind occupied.

I was intelligent. My mind was always thinking. I would evaluate problems and ways to solve them. I sought to understand the world around me, why people thought and acted the way they did. I often wondered why I thought and acted the way I did. Understanding how and why things worked was critical for me. My endless questions of “why” often irritated my parents. They often told me to look answers up in the ancient encyclopedia we had or, later,  [Read More]

 

Advertisements

Hayley’s Review of “Fire Up Your Writing Brain” by Susan Reynolds

Life, Publications on Functionally Fictional, Reading and Books, Writing

This is my latest review on Functionally Fictional!

Functionally Fictional

By: Hayley Green

This book combines two of my favorite subjects: neuroscience and writing. Some of it can be hard to understand due to use of the proper terms for things, but overall it did a nice job of explaining things in a way that it could be understood and how it applies to writers.

Find the book here!

It takes you through the whole process of writing throughout the book: the idea, planning, writing, and editing. It gives you proven ways to train your brain at each stage to be more productive and keep up brain health. It promotes finding what works for you and how your brain works.

The most lengthy stage of the book is the writing stage. It tells you how to craft a story in the beginning chapters, gain motivation or dedication to work through the middle, how to have the courage to end your…

View original post 159 more words

Looking for the Good: A Strategy to Deal with Stress

Life, Life Events, Publications on Coffee House Writers, Writing
https://pixabay.com/en/woman-face-bullying-stress-shame-2775271/

Photo by Geralt via Pixabay

My life is overridden with stress right now. Both good and bad. I figured I would let you know what was going on in my life, as a form of catharsis. I hope it will inspire others that they can make it through the hard times, too.

First, I wanted to mention the bad stress because that’s what everyone focuses on. That way, I can end my article with the good. There are good things in everyone’s life. You must look for it. Learning to appreciate the small stuff goes a long way. And it is something I am still trying to learn, but I am getting better at it.

The Bad

To start, I am worried about the rainy season in Florida. The rainy season is from April to October, and it rains heavily every day. Why am I worried about it? Because our house was damaged, and we don’t have the money to fix it. So, every time it rains my room becomes a lake. Water drips through the ceiling at a heavy rate and soaks my stuff and the tile floor, this causes stress. It is easy to slip and fall, and it forces me to sleep in the living room with sheer curtains and windows on either side of me. I don’t like windows because they make me feel exposed. It is because of my schizoaffective disorder and paranoid delusions. If you want to learn more about what life is like with schizoaffective disorder, click here to read my article.

Also, when it rains, the Internet is spotty and rarely works for days. This is frustrating because I go to school online and need a reliable Internet connection to do so. If I stayed in Florida, I wouldn’t have that.

I am trying to move to Ohio. The only problem? None of my family will allow me to stay with them. I am only allowed to stay with them for two weeks but nothing on a semi-permanent basis. Not even my parents’ house.

Because of the lack of support, I have been feeling unwanted and like a burden.

I almost hurt my baby cousin. I lost my balance and nearly fell on top of her, which was more traumatizing for me than it was for her. I was sleep deprived because she woke up and screamed bloody murder at 2 am. I hadn’t been able to sleep before or after that.

I need a job. I have never kept one for more than three months due to stress and my mental illness, so that is another stressor.

My voices get worse with stress, which increases my stress. That makes the voices worse. It’s a vicious cycle that’s hard to break.

The Good

I am in Ohio, currently… [Read more]

“Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” By Elizabeth Gilbert: A Review

Life, Publications on Functionally Fictional, Reading and Books, Writing
https://www.flickr.com/photos/wfryer/22239877541

Photo by Wesley Fryer via Flickr

Now, I know I may be a little bit late on reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, considering it came out three years ago. I also never read her book Eat, Pray, Love, which I need to rectify. But what made me finally pick up Big Magic was a recommendation by several trusted friends.

Her book details her beliefs on “living a creative life.” It is split up into sections and each section is filled with short anecdotes from her life, as well as her musings on what these stories mean for her life. It is written in an engaging and humorous way that is easy to read and pick up where you left off, even months later.

I should know — I multi-read. Between going to school and having a job, I started this book when I couldn’t read for hours at a time. I am sad to say I neglected this book. But every time I came back to it, it never failed to inspire me.

I have a short list of books that I turn to when I feel bogged down and unable to write my stories. They are usually reference books that state different methods for writing. Big Magic is different in so many ways to those books, but it has made the list. After reading through a couple short stories, I found it hard to decide between stopping to write my own stories or to keep reading.

But this book isn’t just meant for writers. It is meant for any kind of creativity, and she lets the definition be whatever it means to you. Sure, she mentions writing a lot, but that is simply because it is her chosen route of creativity.

Gilbert will inspire you to get over the mental roadblocks in your way to use your creativity. And she’ll encourage you not to do it for…[Read more]

My Life with Schizoaffective Disorder: A Form of Schizophrenia

Life, Mental Illness, Publications on Coffee House Writers, Writing
https://www.pexels.com/photo/blonde-child-corner-cute-271733/

Photo by Pixabay

Many people know about John Nash, the Nobel-Prize winning economist who had schizophrenia. Many know of him because of the movie, A Beautiful Mind. It is a fascinating cinematic portrayal of schizophrenic hallucinations.

However, there is not much content out there about schizophrenic symptoms and coping skills written by someone who has experienced them; this is a niche I can fill.

I was put on prescription medication by my parents as a young child. So early, in fact, that I am not sure when I was put on them. I was at least in the third grade, but it might have been before that. I remember taking my pills in peanut butter because I couldn’t swallow them for three years, which is why the smell makes me ill.

I’m not sure if this caused my current mental state or whether it contributed to it, but I’ll never know. There’s no use worrying about it because it won’t change anything except make me blame my parents, and that isn’t something that I want to be bitter over.

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at eighteen. It is a form of schizophrenia with milder hallucinations. Usually a better grip on reality, and a mood disorder to go along with the hallucinations, such as depression or bipolar. I have the bipolar type. Even though I was diagnosed as a legal adult, I had been experiencing symptoms since I was fifteen. It is hard to say when I first…[Read More]